gawgic_hillary
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Hillary

I know I could use this but I just feel pathetic talking to myself. I just wish I had one friggin person I could really talk to. The two year old is a good listener but just doesn't understand.

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Hillary
Frick on a stick

Eh, ate some things, then ate some more, and also didn't exercise. Think this diet thing's going well!

Hillary
Bleh

So once work came around last week, I didn't feel like updating this after I got home. So God even knows what I ate and on what days. I sure as hell didn't exercise. Haven't felt much like it. Mood's been all blah lately. I know what's bothering me, but I always hate hashing it out. Nobody wants to hear it, so I just keep it bottled up. Not good, but such is life.

Yesterday, basically all I had was a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats for breakfast and another for lunch. No dinner. Wasn't really hungry, didn't have groceries, and I wasn't in the mood to get any.

Today:

Breakfast: Honey bunches of oats

Lunch: some frozen breakfast sandwich thing that Brooklynn and I ate.

Dinner: finally went shopping so I made a big sirloin steak thing that was on sale(woohoo), and found some things I already had at home(score), corn, mashed potatoes, and pasta salad

Feeling a little bloated, haven't had a meal like that in a while. Plus the little mini snickers and twix bars didn't help that I indulged in as well. Needed some chocolate.

Exercise: none so far, maybe when I'm done here I'll do just a bit of cardio or something, not really feeling it at 9:45 at night. Probably should've when Brooklynn napped today. Ugh, just remembered I have a dentist appt tomorrow for my last of the 8 filling I needed over the past two months. Should probably go floss and brush my teeth instead. Stupid, delicious candy.

Hillary
Started off so well

The subject says it all. Well I didn't start it that great I guess. I skipped breakfast and just had some coffee because I knew I was meeting my aunt for an early lunch.

Breakfast: none, coffee

Lunch: crispy chicken salad, pumpkin muffin(i know, wtf, but that was their "side" with a salad at Mimi's cafe)

Snack: oh so delicious hot fudge sundae poptarts again. I just wanted some chocolate.

Dinner: Taco Bell, damn Mike needing new basketball shoes for his league tomorrow and needing to get a picture pass thing for the place he plays. We needed something fast on the way home before he went to work. I suck.

Hillary
Monday

Breakfast: what else? Cookie crisp. It's all gone now though!

Lunch: cottage cheese and some hot fudge sundae poptarts ha! Started decent but those were delicious.

Dinner: little bit of pasta, nothing exciting

Exercise: 30 min or so of yoga that Brooklynn helped me do. She likes doing the downward facing dog!

Think I forgot that last night was around 30 min of random cardio stuff.

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Hillary
3 posts in a row

That's like a record for me. Ok so I did end up doing a little bit of exercise last night. Just some yoga, nothing strenuous because my head was killing me. I love exercise tv on demand. I'm fighting the urge to not do any tonight. Not feeling it, but need to anyway. Eh we'll see.

As for food...

Breakfast: Cookie crisp again!

Snack: Brooklynn and I shared some Strawberry poptarts

Lunch: Finished up the rest of the grilled cheese I made for Brooklynn

Dinner: Some chickeny, cheesy casserole thing I made. Not bad, not great tasting either. Probably not healthy either.

So far, not so great with the diet. Need to go get some groceries some time and stock up on stuff. If it ever stops snowing. Maybe I'll go when I'm done with work some night so I don't have to drag Brooklynn out too.

Hillary
Not so good

Hmm I'm trying this from my iPod touch. Never used this app before. Not a great food day.

Breakfast: cookie crisp. Gotta get some healthier cereal.

Lunch: tuna and crackers. Oh yeah and fruit snacks.

Dinner: more cookie crisp. Hey it's fast for me.

Extra: um I list count of how many cookies and goodies I ate in the pharmacy. Damn them always bringing in delicious treats.

Exercise: none yet, everyones gone or asleep so maybe I'll try for some now.

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Hillary
Here's to you.

Alright I gotta give credit to my sister for this but maybe I'll try a food journal on this since I never post anyway. Sometimes I start a post and then just feel like it's a bitchfest and stop. So here's a new idea. New year, gotta try and cut out the crap. I feel so bogged down sometimes when I eat all the crap. Although today was bad already because I actually got to sleep late since the monkey was at the in-laws. So here goes...

So far today. Last night and all the booze doesn't count!

Breakfast: Cookie crisp. Haha, not my usual Honey Bunches of Oats but it sounded delicious this morning.

Lunch: BLT Chicken salad from Wendy's. I know it's not healthy but it's good and we grabbed something on the way home from picking up Brooklynn. I did have a Diet Coke, and managed to not order a Frosty, although I really wanted one.

So that's it so far, we'll see how I do for dinner.

Hillary

So I thought I'd do a little shredding of old bills and crap (by hand of course b/c I don't own a shredder) today. Managed to finally start that at 1 or so when I finally got the cranky baby to sleep. I found a bunch of old pay stubs in there too. How depressing that I used to make almost $2-300 more than I do now. I make more $ now, but can't work a full 40 hours like I used to. I do enjoy having three days off and not having to work, but I really need the money. I guess not completely by myself, but Brooklynn isn't much of a conversationalist. Plus I get to spend those three days by myself b/c my family is all working then. I'm so tired of living paycheck to paycheck right now. Literally. I'm pretty much wiped out by the next time I get paid. Had to pay my tags out of this paycheck and I'm pretty sure I'm going to overdraw as well. I'd pay it this Friday, but I need to pay pretty much all of the rest of the bills out of that check. I'm so tired of feeling like a complete failure in my life. I hope I pass my stupid pharmacy exam thing so I can make an extra $1 an hour, but I do not have a good feeling about it at all. At least now, I'm staying late at work to try to earn extra money as well. It sucks and I'm usually pretty exhausted by the end, but the money will hopefully be nice. Alright, tired of feeling sorry for myself, just needed to rant. Tired of all these stupid thoughts keeping me up and making be go crazy all the time.

Hillary
Ugh

I'm freaking exhausted right now, and Brooklynn's actually sleeping so of course I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. I went up to work today to officially put in my demotion. Yep I won't be a team lead anymore. It just won't work out with my schedule, Mike's schedule and a baby. Daycare is ridiculously expensive and I don't have the luxury of someone watching her for free or anything like I did for my niece. So, I get to lose $3.50 at work to demote. It sucks because I just got my annual raise too. I went from $11.70 to $12.34. I had a pretty good review and everything too. And of course they've managed to royally screw up my maternity leave too. Last paycheck was only $277 because they screwed up the dates and I didn't get paid for a whole week. And I just checked this week's paycheck and they didn't put the money on there from that check like they said they would. Why would they? It's not like I need that money for bills or anything. And to top it all off my back window broke in my car again. The other side this time. We rolled it down and it broke and got stuck and won't roll back up. How lovely and white trash of me to have a taped up window. Last time it happened on the other side and cost me almost $200 to get it fixed. Awesome...being a grown up kinda sucks.

I'm feeling: depressed depressed
I hear: Sweet silence
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